We're all climbing the SAME mountain.
But from DIFFERENT sides.
🧗 Ken's side 🧗 Jason's side
(Scotland) (Australia)
│ │
│ ⛰️ SUMMIT ⛰️ │
│ (Effective │
│ Communication) │
│ │ │
Rock face Gravel path
& tough & steady
terrain gradient
Ken calls Jason:
"What do you see?"
Jason: "Tough rocks, hard going."
Ken: "Nonsense! It's easy over here!"
BOTH ARE RIGHT.
NEITHER sees the whole mountain.
The Big Idea:
Your perspective is NEVER the only perspective. How you see things determines what you communicate. If you don't appreciate other viewpoints, your message will miss.
What happens between YOUR brain and THEIR brain:
┌─────────────┐
│ WHAT I │ Your deep intention, the meaning
│ MEAN │ in your heart.
└──────┬──────┘
│
▼ (Tone, emotion, volume, clarity)
┌─────────────┐
│ WHAT I │ The actual words you choose.
│ SAY │ "I love you" vs "I LOVE you" 💛
└──────┬──────┘
│
▼ (Their filters: culture, mood, history)
┌─────────────┐
│ WHAT THEY │ What their ears pick up.
│ HEAR │ (Might not be what you said!)
└──────┬──────┘
│
▼ (The danger zone)
┌─────────────┐
│ WHAT THEY │ Their brain fills in the gaps.
│ ASSUME │ Assumptions = based on THEIR
│ │ perspective, not your meaning.
└─────────────┘
The Gap in Action: You say: "We need to improve response times." They hear: "You're all too slow." They assume: "Boss thinks we're lazy." Reality: You meant "Let's find a smarter system." 💥 MESSAGE LOST. RELATIONSHIP DENTED.
The Fix:
Create space for questions. Ask:
"Can you put in your own words what you think I just said?"
Not parroting. Their own words. Then you'll see the gap.
┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ "People don't care how much you know │ │ until they know how much you care." │ │ – John Maxwell │ └──────────────────────────────────────────┘ CONNECTION is the bridge. Without it, your words hit a brick wall. To CONNECT: ┌─────────────────┐ │ Find COMMON │ │ GROUND │ │ Relatability │ │ Genuine CARE │ └─────────────────┘
Ken's Military Story:
Young corporal, war zone, scared soldiers. Authoritarian "fear me" leadership didn't work. What did? Being a father figure, big brother, someone who had their back. Connection through care.
Jason's Tennis Coach Story:
A 7-year-old can't handle advanced technique. You meet them where they ARE. Development point first. Connect at their level, then progress.
The Principle (from Ken's Iraq experience):
┌─────────┐ ┌─────────┐
│ HEART │ ──────▶ │ MIND │
│ ❤️ │ WIN │ 🧠 │ FOLLOWS
└─────────┘ FIRST └─────────┘
"Win a person's heart,
and they will freely give you their mind."
⚠️ NOT manipulation. It's MEETING NEEDS.
The Iraq Pipeline Story:
Coalition forces bomb Iraq. Then they build a water pipeline. Why? Even the angriest Iraqi parent knows: "Without water, my children die." The HEART need (water for kids) bypassed all the MIND objections (hatred of invaders). Principle applied to leadership: ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │ Focus on what your FOLLOWERS need.│ │ Meet that need first. │ │ Then your message gets through. │ └───────────────────────────────────┘
As a leader, ask:
Before you communicate ANYTHING:
┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
│ Write ONE SENTENCE. │
│ "What is the ONE thing I'm │
│ trying to communicate?" │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
NOT ten points. ONE.
All other points serve that ONE.
Example:
Bad: "I want to talk about targets,
teamwork, customer service,
budget, and the new software..."
Good: "I want us to serve customers so
well they come back for life."
(Then everything else supports THIS.)
Planning Your Communication:
1. WHO am I talking to?
┌──────────────────────────────┐
│ Are they on board or resistant? │
│ Different culture? Different │
│ background? │
└──────────────────────────────┘
2. WHAT is my ONE SENTENCE?
┌──────────────────────────────┐
│ Boil it down. Crystal clear. │
└──────────────────────────────┘
3. WHY should they follow?
┌──────────────────────────────┐
│ Give them the REASONS. │
│ Connect to THEIR needs. │
└──────────────────────────────┘
Based on John Maxwell's model.
TRUST increases as you climb.
LEVEL 5 ╔══════════════════╗ 🌟 PINNACLE
║ STATESMANSHIP ║ "I follow you because
║ Track record ║ of WHO YOU ARE."
║ over decades ║ (Decades to reach)
╚══════╦═══════════╝
│
LEVEL 4 ╔══════╩═══════════╗ 🌱 SIGNIFICANT
║ PEOPLE DEV. ║ "I follow because you
║ Making others ║ make ME successful."
║ successful ║
╚══════╦═══════════╝
│
LEVEL 3 ╔══════╩═══════════╗ 📈 PRODUCTION
║ SUCCESS ║ "I follow because you
║ You deliver ║ get RESULTS."
║ results ║
╚══════╦═══════════╝
│
LEVEL 2 ╔══════╩═══════════╗ 🤝 PERMISSION
║ RELATIONSHIP ║ "I follow because
║ They LIKE you ║ I LIKE you."
║ Connection ║
╚══════╦═══════════╝
│
LEVEL 1 ╔══════╩═══════════╗ 📛 POSITION
║ POSITION ║ "I follow because
║ The TITLE ║ I HAVE TO."
║ "Boss" ║
╚══════════════════╝
The Journey:
Exercise:
Write down 10 people you lead/influence/manage.
Score each from 1 to 5 (which level are you at with them?).
| Name | Relationship | Level |
|---|---|---|
| 1. | New hire | 1 |
| 2. | Been working 6 mos | 2 |
| 3. | Trusted team member | 3 |
| ... | ... | ... |
TOTAL: __ / 50
Interpretation:
Goal: In 6-12 months, see those 1s become 2s, 2s become 3s.
Ken was trained as a BRICKLAYER (true story).
He learned:
┌───────────────────────────────────┐
│ "If you lay strong, solid │
│ foundations, the size and │
│ scale of the house you build │
│ is UNLIMITED." │
└───────────────────────────────────┘
This course structure:
┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ SECTION 1: THE HEART (Foundations) │
│ • Perspective & perception │
│ • Connection & trust │
│ • Hearts & Minds principle │
│ • 5 Levels of Leadership │
│ (THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE IN NOW) │
└──────────────┬───────────────────────────┘
│
┌──────────────▼───────────────────────────┐
│ SECTION 2: SOFT SKILLS (Techniques) │
│ • Practical communication tools │
│ • Day-to-day influencing techniques │
│ (Coming next) │
└──────────────┬───────────────────────────┘
│
┌──────────────▼───────────────────────────┐
│ SECTION 3: ADVANCED (Deeper Processes) │
│ • More sophisticated language patterns │
│ • Advanced influence │
└──────────────────────────────────────────┘
Without foundations: You get quick-fix techniques that crumble under pressure.
With foundations: The techniques sit on solid ground.
🏔️ PERSPECTIVE
Your side of the mountain is not the whole
mountain. Ask: "Tell me what you see."
🗣️ THE GAP
What I Mean → What I Say → What They Hear →
What They Assume. Create space for questions.
❤️ CONNECTION FIRST
People won't hear your words until they feel
your care. Relatability is everything.
🎯 HEARTS & MINDS
Meet their heart-needs first. Then their minds
open. Focus on what THEY need, not what YOU
want to say.
📝 ONE SENTENCE
Before speaking, write the ONE thing.
Everything else supports it.
🪜 5 LEVELS
Know where you stand with each person.
Grow upward through relationship, results,
and developing others.
🧱 FOUNDATIONS
Principles before techniques.
Heart before skills.
Trust before influence.
You've now got the HEART of communication. The WHY behind the HOW. Coming up: Soft skills, language patterns, practical techniques to win people over.
"You're not a leader because you
have a title. You're a leader
because someone is FOLLOWING."
Look behind you. Anyone there?
Then walk with them, not ahead.